I don’t have to imagine, I can remember. (Ha! … sometimes anyway)

I lived in Hawaii (aka paradise) three times, but by far the best was when I was a kid in the late 70s and early 80s.

I had a great group of friends, and on any given summer day my parents probably had no idea where I was from sun up til sundown … and sometimes later than that.

• We would ride our bikes over to Pearl Harbor to look at the ships.

• Go to AAA baseball games at Aloha Stadium (future Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn played for the Islanders in 1982).

• One time we rode The Bus to downtown Honolulu and got out at Hotel Street to see hookers and bums 😲 (we were 10)

• Other times we’d just go fishing at the harbor for 11 or 12 hours, trying to catch the big Tiger Shark that was rumored to be trapped in the reef runway lagoon. Luckily we were never successful.

But those are all tales for later posts.

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Today I want to tell a story about the time we were sure we’d found a way to cheat the system, or at least the only “system” we knew about at 10.

In the course of our daily adventures, we’d often ride our bikes around the neighborhood, or even the whole base.

Sometimes we’d end up down at the BX (base exchange … department store for you non-military types) after it closed.

We were usually thirsty.

Luckily there were vending machines.

But did I mention we were ten?

Yeah, we didn’t have money.

What we did have though is a friend with a long skinny arm.

Through trial and error, over the course of many evenings we discovered that if we hit the side of the machine just right, then our friend (let’s call him Mikey … he would eat anything) could stick that long skinny arm up into the machine and extract a “free” soda.

Yes, we were technically stealing. But we were thirsty, broke 10 year olds.

This trick would work over and over again; as many cans as we wanted.

One minor technically …

Only one specific type of soda ever came out of the part of the machine that Mikey could reach with his long skinny arm.

.

.

.

.

Yep, it was TAB.

If you’re too young to know why this was horrifying, imagine the most disgusting metallic-aftertaste diet soda you can think of …

But …

We were 10, and it was “free”, so of course we all drank one almost every night for about a month. 🙃

Decades later, I still drink diet soda. But it’s definitely not TAB.

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Til Next time,

… but only if you want to 😎

When I asked Kelly what she thought her Spirit Animal might be, she answered (a little too quickly, if you ask me):

Praying Mantis

I suppose this shouldn’t really surprise anyone.

She does have a long history of trying to kill me.

Okay, maybe not “trying”, but still …

She would call me “dramatic” and I think she’s a bit too cavalier sometimes.

But I suppose she’s right, we haven’t died … yet. 🤠

For Kelly’s perspective on our hiking adventures you should definitely check out her newsletter Just Over That Next Hill

The first time I lived in Arizona, Kelly and I were just friends. But for about 6 months in 2016, we hiked together three or four mornings a week.

One day she suggested that we head to Fort Huachuca to check out McClure Canyon, and maybe even try to get all the way up to Huachuca Peak.

Note: back then I was in no shape to try to get to the top of any mountain. But that morning I was blissfully unaware of this potentially very relevant fact.

I was just going for another walk in the woods with my friend.

Just around the corner from that trailhead sign, we started to go UP

… and UP

… and UP.

My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest and dash back down the hill to the car.

At one point I may or may not have instructed Kelly:

Yep, completely rational, not dramatic at all. 🤪

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By some miracle I survived that first mile or two of the hike, and eventually the trail flattened out at least a little bit.

At this point I should probably tell you that Kelly had heard about an abandoned helipad at the very top of McClure Canyon, and she was determined to see it.

One problem …

As we got closer to the top, the “trail” quit looking anything like a trail.

But she could see the top. That helipad had to be there.

So on we pressed. Bushwhacking our way higher and higher.

Eventually I looked to my left and noticed that it was a good 200-300 foot drop off right next to the “trail”.

Oh, and did I mention that the “trail” just kept getting thinner and thinner, until at one point I asked if we were on a no shit mountain goat trail.

It took another 5-10 minutes of inching forward a little at a time before Kelly finally agreed that maybe we weren’t going to see the helipad on that particular day … although she would get there about 6 and 1/2 years later.

We weren’t quite done just yet …

Due to our precarious position on the side of a ridge, we had to literally slide on our butts back down to a place where it was safe enough to stand up.

Oh, and remember that super steep part of the trail at the beginning?

Yeah, we had to run down that hill because Kelly was going to be late picking her boys up from school.

Ten years later, if you ask her about that hike, it was all about the “great views” and we only turned around because we ran out of time.

Goat trails? What goat trails? You’re being dramatic.

Til Next time,

… but only if you want to 😎

But I’m a middle-aged white guy.

It’s silly to ask me what my “spirit animal” is.

Nonetheless, that’s exactly what happened at a work event last week.

I wish I could tell you that I was quick on my feet and came up with a brilliant response that not only got a few chuckles but also nodding heads thinking “yeah, I can see that”.

Instead I just demurred: “I’m a civilian now, I don’t have to play this game”.

Perhaps ironically, that did get a few muted laughs.

But me being me, and my brain being my brain, of course I spent the next couple of days thinking about how I might have answered that question for real.

In the end, I landed on …

Yep, a Cat.

(Not a majestic mountain lion or a sleek panther. Just a regular old house cat)

Basically …

I’m not sure exactly what this does or doesn't say about me.

But since we’re here, and the topic had been brought up:

If you ask my loved ones, they’ll tell you I’ve reached the stage of my 50s where my default state is 'grumpy housecat.'

I don’t mind being in the same room as other people …

But if anybody glances directly at me, or tries to start small talk, I may flick my tail in annoyance, and maybe even give them a dirty look.

Then there’s my selective hearing.

Someone can be talking directly to me about weekend plans, and my brain just registers pleasant background noise. I remain completely motionless and oblivious in my chair by the computer.

But if that same person mutters (even quietly to themselves) “Fine, I’ll just go move those boxes in the garage myself,” I’m suddenly fully aware and attentive.

Not because I want to help, mind you. But because I know if I stay still for another five seconds, my quiet morning is officially over.

… of course there is a non-zero chance that I’ll just make my way to a different room and find a quiet corner to curl up in.

Don’t even get me started on affection.

One minute I might be rubbing up against your leg, and even purring if you respond and pet me just the way I like it.

But then 15 seconds later (seemingly for no reason), the mood shifts and I just want to be left alone again.

Very confusing, I know.

Oh man, in the end, I guess I did find my spirit animal after all.

I’m a tad disappointed in myself that I’m not a majestic eagle soaring over the mountains or a noble wolf leading the pack. Just a housecat who wants a quiet room, a comfortable chair, and affection strictly on my own terms, is almost certainly the more honest fit.

But hey, it could be worse.

At least nobody expects me to fetch anything. 😎

Your Turn:

How would you have answered if it was you put on the spot at a conference?

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We are rapidly approaching that special time in the American election cycle where everyone on the internet suddenly transforms into an uncertified political scientist. Over the next few months, we are going to hear an awful lot from people about not only how they plan to vote, but exactly why you and I are wrong if we don’t vote the exact same way, for exactly the same reasons.

But it does come with a few distinct caveats …

There is an unwritten but well defined inverse relationship between how often someone posts about politics and how likely anyone is to actually read it. It’s the Car Alarm Effect. The first time you hear a car alarm, you look around to see if someone is stealing a vehicle. If the alarm goes off every single afternoon at 2:00 PM, you don't look for a car thief; you just look for a new neighbor.

Think about it:

Which is more impactful?

Or …

When every single news cycle is treated like an existential crisis, the human brain naturally tunes out to preserve its own sanity.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes (and these days maybe even often) it’s perfectly understandable to be outraged about many things.

But what is your goal in expressing that outrage?

• Do you just want people to know you're mad? (Hey look, I'm screaming into the digital void, and I brought receipts!)

• Or do you want to inspire actions that might change the thing(s) you’re mad about? (local and in person > anything on the Internet or your phone)

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Personally, I’ve found that my own record for changing someone's mind via a heated internet comment section is roughly zero percent. Which is why, as the political temperature rises over the next few months, you can mostly find me out on the trails. The local wildlife might occasionally mock me, but at least the lizards never try to debate me about the why the price of gas is so high.

p.s. on a more serious note, please check your voter registration: vote.gov and make a plan to vote in your local primary and the general election on Nov 4th.

Til Next time,

Who do you know that loves funny stories?

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… but only if you want to 😎

If I answered: “I’m in the Air Force”, the inevitable follow up question was:

“Oh, do you fly planes?”

Me: “No, I’m a weather forecaster”

Them: “Oh cool, are you on TV?” lol, again, “No”.

This did get me thinking though. I’m not sure I have a really good elevator pitch to answer that question with. Maybe (much younger) Joey and Jaiden can help:

I think they nailed it!

Daddy takes lots of pictures.

He also goes outside, then comes in and tells people what the weather is.

What’s your “elevator pitch”?

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(I still have gift subscriptions for all of these if anybody is interested)

The very first publication I subscribed to was my stepson Johnathan (aka Ace Hope):

A High Level Party Gets a Second Chance

A substack on my light novel series, A High Level Party Gets a Second Chance

By Ace Hope

He’d been working on writing a fantasy book for a few years now, so I was thrilled to see him pop up on Substack to post his chapters. Of course I wanted to support him in this endeavor so I bought an annual subscription.

The next publication I decided to pay for, I probably didn’t have to. I was enjoying the posts I was able to read just fine. But I'd been following Brent and Michael since the first time I was on substack in 2022. One day they announced a promotion on their annual subscription that was extremely reasonable, so I figured why not throw them a few bucks to show my appreciation.

Brent and Michael Are Going Places

The adventures, insights, and travel tips of a gay nomad couple exploring the world. A "Substack Featured" Newsletter. Also featured on CBS Sunday Morning, NPR, and CNN.

By Michael Jensen

Logan Ashe Darrow is one of the people who had commented and intearacted with me back in the fall/winter of 2025 when I was still mostly talking to myself most days when I logged on here. When I saw the promotion price that she’d set up for her yearly subscription (less than lunch), it was an easy decision.

Beyond the Emerald City

"There are more things in Washington State, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~ Pioneer Bill Shakespeare in 1858, after slogging his way over Snoqualmie Pass.

By Logan Ashe Darrow

Even easier was upgrading my subscription on Don Boivin’s Shy Guy Meets The Budha. Honestly, this is one I should have upgraded to sooner. I also knew Don at least a little bit during my first couple of forays onto Substack. Then when I came back on this brand new account in September 2025, he was one of the first to regularly comment/encourage me, and even restack some of my notes/posts. Like the previous two, he ran/announced a promotion and I pulled out my credit card.

Shy Guy Meets the Buddha

Reflections on Work, Love, and Nature.

By Don Boivin

These last two (my most recent paid subscriptions) are a bit different. I am normally extremely anti-paywall. Seriously, I have cancelled my free subscription from many publications when I ran into one too many articles that I wasn’t allowed to read unless I paid.

Well apparently, my health, and specifically the subject of longevity is an area where I’m willing to make an exception.

Caveat: both of these accounts I first noticed due to the valuable information they were sharing in Notes and in their free Posts. I would not have upgraded to either if too much “good stuff” had been behind the paywall.

I learn something new and interesting just about every time I see Harshi Peiris, Ph.D pop up in my Notes feed. Seriously, she keeps telling me that things I already like to eat are actually healthy. How could I not like her? More importantly, I absolutely trust that whatever she’s telling me is based on real research (done the right way).

Harshi Peiris, Ph.D.

Understanding neurodegeneration and aging through evidence, clarity, and practical insight. No hype, just facts.

Along the same lines, Dr Adrian Laurence also regularly shares interesting and useful health information in both his Notes and his Posts. Most of the posts are free for everybody to read, but since I was already getting so much out of his account, when I encountered a paid post that also seemed to had information I would find useful, I decided to upgrade.

Longevity Decoded

Lifestyle Medicine Doctor and Family Physician for 17+ years. I help decode the latest science into evidence-based blueprints to feel better, live longer and perform today.

By Dr Adrian Laurence

Note: this is one where I nearly changed my mind and cancelled the subscription when his Notes feed started to be occasionally interspersed with announcements about his new publication that would teach other substack writers what he did to grow his health account to over 44K subscribers.

This is actually a natural segue into the type of publication I will absolutely NEVER EVER pay for …

The Substack “gurus” who write publications about “How to grow your Substack”. I don’t want this post to devolve into a rant, so suffice it to say that when I encounter one of these accounts, I’m more likely to block them than to subscribe, even for free.

So …

What Lessons did I learn from this?

Well, the first I kind of already knew: I’m cheap, so if I’m going to subscribe it’s probably going to be when someone is running a promotion with a big discount.

But even then, it also has to be someone that I’ve had some good interactions with for a fair bit of time.

If these friends happen to have a paywall, like 90%or more of their content should still be outside of it … and that should still be some good quality stuff.

Finally (and this was a bit more surprising to me), I am apparently willing to pay for well researched information by bonafide experts on topics that I happen to be interested in at the moment … but only if they attracted my attention with equally compelling information in their free Notes and Posts first.

I would love to subscribe to even more of my friend’s publications. But for the time being, raising teens in two separate households (and states) unfortunately doesn’t not allow me to have unlimited discretionary income.

Also, shockingly, the two or three times a year that I pick up a lottery ticket with my energy drink at the convenience store, I never seem to win. 🤣

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That doesn’t mean we didn’t get to have some fun in training though.

(All pictures in this post were taken by me)

Over the course of 24 years I attended many exercises and training events.

One of my favorites was BWMQT (Basic Weather Military Qualification Training) at Camp Blanding, Florida. In a nutshell, they sent a bunch of Air Force Weather guys who were assigned to Army units (the Army doesn’t have weather people) to be trained by Army Infantry guys, under the theory that if we came under attack downrange we might not get in their way (and/or need rescuing) if we had a bit more idea about what we were doing.

We got to do a lot of cool stuff like blow up C4 and live hand grenades, and shoot 50 cal rifles.

But the best time was when we were out at the MOUT (Military Operations in Urban Terrain) site. Note: it was not as much fun when I was a trainee. But I got to go back a couple of times later as facilitator. It was during these trips that I got to play OP4 (Opposition Force) during the MOUT days.

They Don’t Teach Air Force Guys This Part Anymore

The times I went to Camp Blanding were between 2009 and 2012. I realized at the time that while the training was fun, and we actually learned a lot, it wasn’t terribly useful for its stated purpose of preparing us to deploy; particularly the MOUT site days.

Let me give you an example:

The Infantry guys were basically training us Air Force guys as if we Infantry. They had us walking through the village in formation, and even meeting with village elders. One of our “platoon” was assigned to carry an M249 SAW (more about that weapon later). When we were inevitably attacked, we had to take cover and conduct a counter attack against the enemy fighters.

It was totally unrealistic.

If they wanted to prepare a bunch of Air Force weather guys for the real world, they would have driven us in on HMWVV, set off a roadside IED, had us scramble for cover and wait to be rescued. I suppose knowing how to operate the machine gun might have been useful … but only if the Army guy who it was assigned to got shot and killed first.

Anyway, I digress …

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen or shot simunition. Well, we had it for M9 pistols, M4 rifles, and even that M249 machine gun. Imagine paint balls, but it hurts like 50 times worse if you’re hit in an unprotected area.

Part of the MOUT training was building clearing.

Well one day one of our trainees decided to cop a very bad attitude while we were out at the MOUT site. We (facilitators) tried at first to just let his leadership handle things. But he persisted, loudly and obviously.

We decided the best way to handle the attitude was a heavy dose of tactical reality. My buddy set up the SAW to cover the ‘fatal funnel’ (the doorway) at thigh level (a classic defensive tactic). Mr. Attitude,was somehow volunteered (or more likely was voluntold) to lead the stack through the door.

Aside: Simuntion doesn’t hurt at all if you get hit in the vest. As a result we (OP4) tended to aim for the trainee’s thighs (they were still supposed to aim center mass at us … train as you fight and all).

The first guy in pretty much always took fire; just not always with the SAW.

Needless to say, it was a painful learning experience.

But I’ll you what …

That guy didn’t give anybody any attitude for the rest of the training exercise.

Before anyone accuses us of cruel and unusual punishment, we all (including OP4) came away with bumps and bruises by the time it was done. In these building clearing exercises, OP4 pretty much always got killed eventually (we were always way outnumbered). Several times, while laying in a concealed prone position, when they finally overran me, I was “killed” by point blank shots to my unprotected buttocks. Ouch.

While I’m glad I got to participate in this kind of training, I am profoundly thankful that I was never in a position while deployed to have to use it.

For all three of my combat zone deployments I was a happy and content FOBBIT (Often pejorative term used by Army and Marines to describe military members who never go outside the wire of the relatively secure Forward or larger Contingency Operating Bases).

I still work with the military. But as a civilian, if I want to play with guns (and for the most part I usually don’t) I have to go buy my own … and I don’t even know if it’s legal to have simunition. So these trips to Blanding were pretty much a once in a lifetime experience.

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In a way I’m lucky. I am one of those people who really could eat the same stuff pretty much every day and not be mad about it.

So why was I not already doing that?

Well …

For one thing, there’s this belief out there that families should all have the same thing for dinner, and it’s “ridiculous” for everybody to just eat what they want.

Also …

If I don’t have a plan for breakfast (or I feel like there are too many people in the kitchen and I can’t use the stove), I am very likely to just grab a Clif Bar, or even worse, launch a covert, early-morning raid to steal one of the teenagers' Pop-Tarts.

Then …

If I wait until the morning to decide what I’m going to bring for lunch/snacks, the Popeye’s or Burger King just up the road too often ends up being the easiest temporary solution.

Ugh

I could probably get away with this when I was in my 20s and 30s. But now, at 57, I’m at the point where I really worry about what 75 will look like if I don’t form and stick to some much better habits yesterday … or at least now.

So, What’s my plan? (you can skip this part if you want)

Breakfast: Overnight Oats

• 2/3 cup plain oats

• 3/4 scoop chocolate protein powder

• 5g Creatine

• 2/3 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk

• Small scoop ground flax seeds

• 3-4 sliced strawberries

Lunch: Medium Potato with Black Beans

• One potato, either regular or sweet (microwaved, then cooled overnight in the fridge)

• 1/3 can of black beans

• Dressing of EV Olive Oil, balsamic vinegar, minced garlic and ginger, ground tumeric, and a little bit of maple syrup.

Dinner: Three Eggs Florentine +

• 3 large or extra large eggs

• Big handful of fresh spinach

• Clove or two of finely sliced garlic

• Sliced shallot or red onion

• Olive Oil

• Italian seasoning

• A couple table spoons of garlic/basil tomato sauce

• Sprinkling of Italian blend cheese

• 1 piece of toasted multigrain bread w/ real butter

Snacks: Greek Yogurt, Bananas, Other Soft Fruit (I currently have braces)

I’m not going to be religious about this. I may from time to time still have pizza or a hamburger, or go out to eat with Kelly for dinner.

And when we’re out hiking, I’m probably going to have Clif Bars in my pack.

So …

Are you weird like me?

Could you make a plan to eat the same couple of things (almost) every day?

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When I wrote a post last year about the times I’d been unexpectedly “drafted” to photograph weddings, I mentioned at the end that Kelly’s son Seth was getting married in May, and I was kind of hoping to just be a guest, not a photographer.

It didn’t work out that way …

Seth had a friend who is an aspiring photographer traveling from Colorado (to Iowa) to take the wedding pictures. He was even bringing a more experienced wedding photographer to mentor him.

It was looking more and more likely that I might really just be a guest.

Then the phone call came in that their car broke down and they were stuck in Kearny Nebraska, about 4 hours away. If they made it, they wouldn’t arrive until around 2am on the day of the wedding.

Thankfully Seth’s photographer friends did make it on time.

But since I’d already gotten my camera out and ready …

I made extra sure not to step on the toes of the designated photographers. But I did wander around the grounds and sniped a few shots with my long lens.

I didn’t take any pictures of the wedding itself.

There at the venue (beautiful chapel and barn out in the country), my only “non-stealthy” photography was helping out by taking group photos of extended family who were in attendance.

I did get one picture of the bride still in her veil, after the ceremony and before they went off with the other photographer for posed pictures.

But then I really didn’t get my camera out again until about halfway through the reception. I think of the pictures I took there, the ones most likely to potentially get printed and saved are the ones of Seth and his groom’s people, as well as a few other family shots.

Oh, and this one of Seth just after he signed the marriage license.

In the end, I’m pretty sure there’s no way I was going to avoid getting my camera out of the car and capturing at least a few images. Perhaps one of these days I will actually attend a wedding as just a guest … lol, maybe

I’m not really sorry that I brought my camera and took some pictures.

Seth & Jazmin have some additional memories.

And … If nothing else, I’ll have more stuff to add to my portfolio if my friend Chris is ever successful in his quest to convince me to:

Inside Wedding Photography

The First Steps to Becoming a Second Shooter

[Read Time - 6 Minutes…

Read more

10 months ago · 6 likes · 2 comments · Chris Humphrey

Does anybody else regularly tell themselves these kind of lies? Just me?

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I’ll save you some suspense. Kelly says Definitely Not In The House. She’s not scared of spiders or anything. She just doesn’t want any more pets. Fair enough.

Maybe he (or she) could be an office spider?

This idea first popped into my head about 6 months ago when Jamie’s friend Avery moved to Florida and we watched his lizard and hermit crab for about 10 days before mailing them to him.

This left us with a couple of little plastic enclosures that I somehow decided looked like the perfect home for a pet spider.

Obviously the plan was/is to clean it up, then put in the proper kind of bedding and other accoutrements. Basically turn it into a happy spider home.

One problem …

Luckily Notebook LM is pretty helpful in these situations.

I stopped trusting search engines a long time ago. Lately, the top results are either obvious ads, or webpages whose primary purpose is to try to sell me something. I know where to buy a spider, and I already have the enclosure. I just want to know how to care for it and keep it alive.

With Notebook LM I can choose the sources, then not only ask it questions based on just those sources (no hallucinations), but I can also have it produce these neat graphics, and even an audio overview if I want to listen instead of read the relevant information.

Well shoots. I’m glad I did this before I actually went out looking for a spider. It turns out I have the wrong kind of enclosure for a jumping spider. I would also need to get a bright LED light and a misting bottle.

Hmmmm …

When I first had this idea months ago, I was thinking about getting a tarantula.

Here’s the graphic I had Notebook LM make for that:

This actually look more promising. I think I would be able to use the enclosure I already have. Also, check out that “daily care and feeding” up in the top right.

The main thing that kept me from pursuing this months ago was that when I looked in our local PetsMart, the only tarantulas that they regularly have are the Mexican pink toe. I of course would want one of the cool blue or purple ones.

However, from what I’m reading, these make much better pets and are easier for non-experienced first time owners … which is probably why this species is what PetsMart has for sale.

Hmmmm again …

I do want something for my desk at work. I may very well go look at the tarantulas again one of these days.

Or maybe I should get a lizard?

Of course I’d have go create a new “care and feeding” notebook for that first too.

Have you ever successfully kept a spider, lizard, or other small creature?

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Justin was a relatively good baby. But both his mom and I were young first time parents. We did the best we could. He had plenty of clothes and toys. We even had a big pot on the stove where we boiled water to sanitize his bottles and pacifiers. note: by the time our 3rd daughter was born, hers just got rinsed out.

Like most babies, Justin did not sleep through the night for most of his 1st year.

Over three decades later I still remember our typical nightly routine:

2am: Amanda (his mom) would nudge me awake:

“Todd, Justin’s crying. Do you want me to get up with him?”

Now, you experienced dads and moms will probably already see where I’m going with this. But in case any new dads stubble across this, a bit of advice:

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time up with Justin in the middle of the night. This usually involved a diaper change and making him a bottle. Then I would often pop a movie in the VCR and just patiently sit with him until he fell back to sleep.

I’m not sure this is still true today. But back then I was extraordinarily patient and calm. lol, his mom, not so much.

Trying to get a baby to go back to sleep is kind of like watching a pot waiting for the water to boil …

The more you really, really wish for it to happen, the longer it will seem to take.

Even though I got up more often, she had more totally sleepless nights than I did.

I have no idea where I was going with this …

Oh yeah, trying to get kids to sleep.

It only gets more “fun” as they start to age towards their toddler years.

With pretty much all my kids, once they learned to pull their head up and look out of their crib, I got another chance to exercise my ability to have a whole lot of patience.

They were somehow comforted by being able to see me as they nodded off.

So here’s how the 30-45 minute bedtime routine went:

• Last bottle of the night

• Check diaper, change if needed

• Put them in the crib (maybe read a story or sing a lullaby)

• Stand perfectly still next to the crib until they appear to be asleep

• Slowly lower to a sitting position

• Count to 50

• If no movement or sound, lower to the floor flat on my stomach

• Count to 30

• Low crawl a couple of feet.

• Stop

• Count to 30

• Repeat (if no movement or sound) until I reach the bedroom door.

If at any point during the low crawl phase I heard noise or movement, I had to sit up so that they could see my face.

Sometimes this went quickly, sometimes it might take up to an hour.

Just like with the bottles, the girls who came later were more likely to (at least occasionally) be left to cry themselves to sleep … which let’s be real is probably the better parenting technique anyway.

Of course that didn’t mean they were loved any less.

Now, as a middle aged grandpa, I very much value my 7-8 hours a night sleep.

I think I might just be making up for all the times during my earlier years I awoke at 2am to some version of:

“Todd, Todd, Justin (Haley/Jordan/Jaiden/Joey) is crying …”

I’ll tell you what though, I wouldn’t change it if I could. Those middle of the nights with each of my kids are some of my best early fatherhood memories.

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I think it’s a relevant question.

… and why should you (my readers) care?

Well, if you’re thinking about subscribing (or staying subscribed) you should probably know that for me this is more akin to the personal blogs I used to post on 10 or 15 years ago, than any sort of business building project. I promise there will be no 5-step masterclasses, no synergy, and absolutely zero optimization of my personal brand

I’m mainly here to have fun and get to know people.

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Ultimately, my main goal is to make new friends; both online and even potentially in person. I’ve already had some success on that front.

At some point in the not terribly distant future, I’m going to stop predicting the weather for the civil service, and Kelly and I are going to hit the road. (Don't worry, my retirement forecast has a much higher confidence interval than my afternoon rain predictions)

If I can open my Substack and write a note or a post saying something like “Hey, we’re going to be in Cool Place, USA or Even Cooler Place, Overseas Country on these dates” and have someone pop on and offer to tell us about (or even better show us) the most interesting non-touristy spots in that area, then this publication will have been a wild success.

BTW, our little corner of southeast Arizona is a pretty spectacular destination in and of itself. So if you ever find yourself out this way, I’m more than happy to be the guy on the other end of that offer—I can show you where the good views are, though you'll have to negotiate trail rights with the local wildlife.

Beyond that, I love to take pictures and tell (hopefully good) stories from my five decades on this earth, living all over the country, and the world.

lol, we humans are all a little ego driven, so literally the only reason I can think of that I might even like to have thousands of subscribers some day is so that more people might enjoy the things that I write about and/or take pictures of.

Then again, if my circle here on Substack stays relatively small forever, I’m not sure that would necessarily be a bad thing. I’ve always said that if you don’t see me around much online for an extended period of time it must mean that “real” life is probably going pretty well for me at that moment … or I’m finally catching up on all the laundry I put off doing for a month. 😎

lol, all that when I could have just typed:

… but that wouldn’t really make for much of a post now would it?

How about you? Why are you on Substack?

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I only remember this puppy’s name because it was on the Flickr album title where I found the picture. You see, Wendy was one of probably a dozen or more dogs that we had while my daughters were young and their mom and I were still actively trying to be married.

In the beginning, the dogs we had were intentional choices.

She already had Tink when I first met her in Hawaii, she stayed with us for years, even making the move to Texas.

But Texas is where the real fun with multiple dogs thing started.

Not all of the Texas dogs were strays; a few came from the animal shelter.

Anyhow, I soon noticed a trend developing …

Almost none of these dogs lived with us for longer than 6 months.

But before you get your hackles up and accuse us of abandoning these poor dogs, here’s what actually happened almost every time:

• Dog arrives at our house (in one way or another)

• Dog is taken to the vet for vaccinations and spay/neuter

• Dog plays with kids/other dogs and is taken for daily walks

• Dog is given away to a much better home than ours

• Dog (I assume) lives a long happy life

Caveat: I only have anecdotal evidence to support that last point, but it’s what I choose to believe happened most/all of the time.

As for point number four, I had very little (okay almost no) input into those decisions. Actually, now that I think about it, I didn’t have a lot of influence when the dogs first arrived either. It would just be announced on a random afternoon:

It really wasn’t until years later when I left for Arizona the first time that I realize how much what we’d been doing looked like an inadvertent dog rescue.

Ironically (or maybe not), once I left, the dog situation in Texas became much more stable, with just the occasional “found pup”. But this time it was always a given that they would just be temporary guest, since the house already had three long-term residents.

Unfortunately we had to say goodbye to Penny (the pitbull) a few years back. I had actually said my goodbyes on a visit to Texas a few months earlier.

She was a part of the family for over a decade. Started out as a rescue herself, but definitely wasn’t going to any other home … better than ours or not.

Have you ever looked back and realized you’ve had far more pets than you ever intended? Leave a comment below and let me know your accidental pet stories!

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I don’t think I can commit to a daily B&W photo project again. But when I woke up Sunday morning, this scene was practically begging to be shared in contrasty grey tones. Monochrome Monday seems like a good excuse to add to my B&W Photo Project category. Perhaps once a week will be a bit more manageable.

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I think a big part of the problem is that I’m way more “well informed” about what’s going on in the world than I really want (or even need) to be.

Ugh.

The funny thing is, I genuinely enjoy reading fiction. And I absolutely hate how I feel when I’m mindlessly scrolling through ‘news’ and social media

That’s the million-dollar question. And if you’re reading this, you're probably suffering from the exact same glitch.

The Battle is Completely Rigged

It turns out there’s some real science behind this. When you try to choose a paperback over your smartphone, you are fighting a heavily rigged war. Cognitive psychologists and neuroscientists look at this as a collision between our ancient evolutionary reward systems and hyper-optimized app design.

When we choose infinite scrolling over immersive fiction, our brains are simply opting for the path of least cognitive resistance. Here is exactly how these apps hack our biology:

• The Dopamine Slot Machine: Social media uses what psychologists call a “variable ratio schedule of reinforcement”… the exact same trick that keeps people pulling levers on slot machines. When you pull to refresh a feed, your brain anticipates a reward (a funny video, a striking photo, a notification). Your brain’s dopamine pathway responds most powerfully to unpredictable outcomes.

• The “Uphill Hike” of Reading: Regular interaction with fast-paced digital environments trains our brains to process information rapidly but superficially. Reading a novel, on the other hand, demands active mental heavy lifting. Your brain has to decode text, build an internal mental world, and track a narrative over hours or weeks. When you’re tired after a long day, opening a book feels like climbing a steep mountain trail. Scrolling feels like sliding down one.

• The Post-Scroll Guilt Hangover: We rarely feel good after a scrolling binge. Because scrolling lacks intentional purpose, it immediately triggers an internal goal conflict. You know you should or want to be spending your time on something more meaningful, like that book on your nightstand. This conflict triggers micro-bursts of guilt and a measurable drop in daily well-being.

To see how these psychological variables interact in real-time within your own daily routine, you can use this interactive Attention Choice Simulator. By adjusting your current fatigue, the friction of your book, and the algorithmic temptation of your apps, you can visualize exactly why your brain leans toward the path of least resistance.

https://newgreateryou.github.io/attention-simulator/

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Borrowing Better Strategies

So what am I trying to do about it?

The simple answer would be to just decide to scroll less and read more. Right? Except my brain is just as taxed and tired as anyone else’s. Resolve alone isn’t going to cut it; I need actual tactics.

Because I’m clearly not alone in this reading rut, I went hunting across Substack to see what tricks other writers are using to reclaim their attention spans. Here are five ideas I am actively stealing:

1. Lower the friction (via Jess Oliver): Keep your transition into reading as seamless as possible. If your book is sitting right there, uncovered and easy to grab, you’re exponentially more likely to open it.

2. Train focus like a muscle (via Drishti Pandita): Actively build up your attention span. The goal is to make your focus so deep and steady that the rapid, hyper-fragmented pacing of a social feed actually starts to feel weird and jarring to your brain.

3. Try “Book Scrolling” (via Sam Rinko at Knowledge Lust): This is a wild strategy to fight fire with fire. Bring three completely different books (different genres, different authors) to one sitting. Read the first until your focus starts to dip, then instead of reaching for your phone, “scroll” to the next book. It tricks your brain’s obsession with novelty but keeps you reading. I’ve always been a one-book-at-a-time guy, but this is clever enough to try.

4. Read in fragments (via Chibueze Agu): Always carry a book with you and pick it up every single time you feel the mindless, muscle-memory urge to reach for a scroll. Five minutes waiting in a checkout line adds up fast over a week.

5. Find “unputdownable” recommendations (via Emma at emmareadstoomuch): This sounds obvious, but it’s profound. Hit your friends up specifically for book recommendations that they literally could not put down. A gripping, high-momentum plot makes that cognitive uphill climb a whole lot easier.

The Verdict

The good news is, I now have a wealth of ideas to try.

The bad news? My Kindle has been sitting right next to me the entire time I’ve been working on this article for the last hour. I probably could have made some serious progress on that novel I’m currently three months into. 🙃

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We arrived at the Logan IA community center at 9:15 am.

Aunt Ellen who owns the local motel was nominally running the show, but we quickly discovered that the plan was pretty flexible. None-the-less, one of the groomsmen, Jaden and I eagerly jumped in to do whatever we were told.

Despite mild warnings I’d been given, Ellen was easy to work with. She had her ideas, but was also open to suggestions, and even implemented a few of mine.

Then at about 11am Kelly and Aunt Becky took a break from cake decorating to come provide additional help with the venue setup.

For me at least, the atmosphere quickly became noticeably more tense.

I like to think that my time in the military provided me with the attributes of both a good leader and a good follower. But for some reason, when it came to the second task, I found it much easier to take “orders” from Aunt Ellen than even “suggestions” from Kelly.

Why is that?

What is it that makes it easier (for some of us anyway) to interact, work, and comprise with people we’ve just met, than with someone we’ve been in a relationship with for years?

In the end, I apparently held things together pretty well …

However, I’m left searching for strategies I can use to repeat this behavior when we’re back home with only ourselves (and maybe the teens) around.

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We’ve all heard the advice to “dance like no one’s watching”.

I think I need modify that a little bit for my interactions with Kelly to:

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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… and yes, it’s true, I am very much Imperfect Todd

But even as much as I truly believe that I could be doing better at a lot of things, the reality is, relatively speaking (perspective) my life is pretty darn good.

And more importantly …

I fully expect (optimism) that it’s going to keep getting better.

I think perspective and optimism kind of go hand in hand, at least in the respect that it’s a little easier to be optimistic about the future if you possess the ability to put your past and present in perspective.

We humans tend to have a natural bias towards negativity (and sometimes it’s even warranted) but in every situation (especially the “bad” ones) there is a magic rhetorical question we can ask ourselves that helps put thing in perspective:

Seriously.

Sometimes it’s really hard, and it may take quite a while to come up with an acceptable answer, but ultimately there’s always going to be something we can grasp on to.

There’s also a kind of companion question that helps even more when it comes to perspective:

I’ll give you kind of a silly example …

I recently got a raise at work (yes, us federal employees get those every year or two) and after doing the math, I caught myself lamenting that the $200 or so a month (the actual amount of the raise) wouldn’t make a material difference in my lifestyle.

Then I caught myself …

Wait, what the fuck Todd?

If I were working for minimum wage at Walmart or a fast food place, I would be over the moon about earning $200 more a month.

Damn …

Shut up and be thankful already!

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… and that’s perspective in a nutshell.

No matter where we currently sit on the totem pole of life, we all almost certainly have some things to be grateful for.

Which bring me to Optimism …

I’ve actually been scolded that “you’re not really an optimist” because I sometimes get depressed, angry, or unappreciative about the curveballs that life often throws our way. This totally misunderstands what that word means.

Optimism is not the (irrational) belief that things are “always good”.

Instead, it’s the faith that even when we find ourselves in stormy waters, we will eventually enjoy basking in the sunlight again, because given a long-enough timeline life pretty much always evens out.

At certain points in my life I may have take this slightly to the extreme. This was my literal self talk:

… and that’s always proven to be true!

The good stuff does come.

Which brings me right back to the theme of this New Greater YOU site.

It’s okay to suck.

Just because we’re imperfect now, doesn’t mean that there’s not a better version of ourselves parked somewhere down around the corner of time, just waiting to be discovered and occupied.

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It was a long time ago.

Apparently I’ve got a slightly compressed L5-S1. In addition to the pain, I have continually numb feet and tingly legs, due to sciatica.

Now here’s the “interesting” (not!) part …

Ask me if I’m doing anything about my back pain? (other than commenting that it hurts multiple times a day)

Survey says: NOPE!

Now ask me if I’m already aware of things that I could be doing, but am apparently too lazy or stubborn to keep up with regularly?

You guessed it …

I’ve been to doctor’s appointments and physical therapy. I’ve also been provided numerous handouts and websites with stretching exercises to do daily. In addition, I’ve been talking for a while about doing yoga (which I quite enjoy) every morning.

I even found stuff like this already saved in my Google photos (not sure of the source)

But somehow I’m always “too busy” or even better “forget” to do any of it.

Instead I just say “ouch!” a lot.

Time for a turn around:

I know that I have to do something (other than belly ache).

But there are so many options …

Besides all of the articles about “back pain” here on Substack, I already subscribe to a couple of yoga publications.

Yoga Living 50 and Beyond

Does your lower back scream? How to make it happier

Lower back pain is common in aging adults. A quick Google search shows that anywhere from 39-84% of adults experience lower back pain at some point in their life. Yoga and core strengthening practices can give you the strength and mobility that you need to support your lower back, to both prevent pain, and help you through the pain when it happens…

Read more

2 years ago · 24 likes · 37 comments · Janine Agoglia

Yoga For Tired People

A 5-minute midday stretch for the low back

Hi Tired Yogi…

Listen now

a year ago · 390 likes · 29 comments · Jo Hutton

Then The NY Times is telling me to strengthen my core and move every day.

NY Times: To Ease Sciatica, Keep Moving (gift link)

Duh, thanks.

Finally, the VA also has a ton of information and resources.

https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/tools/low-back-pain.asp

… which probably goes at least a short way towards explaining why I so often do nothing.

I think I just need to get back in the habit of doing something, every day.

In the end, I think the easiest path is the 12 year old You Tube video I already have saved in my favorites and bookmarked on my living room tv:

And the 2-3 mile walk that we already go on most evenings.

When this becomes a legitimate habit, then I can try to tackle the more advanced stuff.

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But among the most easily falsifiable is the idea that:

Yea, nope … survey (and waistline) says BULLSHIT!

I’m not legitimately fat again like I was back in 2019. But damn if I don’t allow myself way too many doughnuts and second or third slices of pizza these days.

So what’s the solution?

Record every single thing that I eat, every single day.

If I want to eat a cookie or a piece of cake, I still can.

But it’s going to live on forever in my food log.

The psychology of this is more powerful than you might expect.

How do you track your food?

It could be as simple as carrying around a little notebook in your pocket. But let’s be real, these days just about everybody has their phone with them all the time.

From 2019-2022 I used an app.

Unfortunately that app is no longer supported, so I wasn’t able to load it on my new phone. I was able to find a reasonable alternative though:

Food Diary (android)

Opinions on this may vary, but here’s what I look for in a food logging app:

• It needs to have an easy way for me to record what I ate

• It needs to record the date/time I ate it

That’s it. I don’t want anything fancy.

I don’t need something to try to estimate calories, calculate the macros, build a grocery list, or any of that other extraneous crap.

I just need to be able to see what I ate and when I ate it … ideally going back years.

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So that’s the deal with food tracking.

It’s something I should probably keep doing forever (due to the obvious benefits).

It’s not at all difficult to do.

So why the hell haven’t I been doing it lately?

Another (easy?) fix that starts today.

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Onward and upward (or downward?) …

185 lbs here I come again!

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www.AComplaintFreeWorld.org

First a confession: I bought this book over 2 years ago, and have been wearing one of (I bought a 10 pack) the purple wristbands almost every day since.

But I haven’t been actively trying to follow the program. 😟 In fact I can’t remember the last time I even switched it to the other wrist. I still complain A LOT … ironically, mostly about how much and how often someone else complains.

That changes today.

I’m going to reread the book again, but the basic concept is pretty simple:

• Wear the wristband

• Anytime you complain, criticize, or gossip you switch wrists

• You also go back to Day 1

• The Goal is to get to 21 Days complaint free

Even when you’re actively trying, it’s not easy. It may take months to advance past day 2 or 3. Then if you have a slip at Day 14, or even 20, it’s back to the start at Day 1.

This is an obvious first step towards my goal of trying to be the best version of Todd that I can be. One of my improvement list items in my intro post was working to cut down/eliminate my occasional outbursts of anger.

Here’s the thing, most/all of my angry outbursts usually involve some form of complaints or criticism.

Initially, even if having to stop to switch the wristband just cuts down on the duration of some of my rants, it will be a pretty clear win.

Wish me luck.

I won’t bore you with updates every day, but I will let you know if I hit a good milestone.

Anybody else want to give this a try?

(The book and the purple wristbands from the website are helpful, but you can do this with a rubber band, a ring, or even a rock or coin that you switch from pocket to pocket)

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